Future References:
Persuasion by Jane Austen, The Hours (2002), Antigone by Sophecles
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From ChatGPT as Jane Austen when I asked about female conversation vs male:
Allow me to offer some thoughts:
### **The Soul of Female Conversation** In my experience (or rather, my characters’), the conversations between women often carry layers of nuance—threads of intimacy, alliance, unspoken tensions, or even veiled rivalry. Consider Elizabeth Bennet and Jane: their sisterly discourse is not only loving but filled with a rhythm of shared understanding. It is this rhythm, born from shared experience and vulnerability, that defines many intimate conversations between women. It is not that men lack this rhythm, but society often does not encourage it in them.
### **Cultivating Empathy Over Assumption** You are perceptive in seeking to cultivate your own feminine aspect as a bridge to understanding, but allow me to suggest that observation and listening might bear more immediate fruit. Seek out the voices of real women—through literature, interviews, or eavesdropping (a most underrated tool, I assure you!). Observe how they balance directness with subtlety, how humor may shield or reveal vulnerability, and how their silences speak volumes.
### **The Pitfalls of Stereotypes** Rid yourself of the temptation to write women as either ethereal beings of perfect understanding or as mere reflections of societal caricatures. Women, like men, harbor contradictions: strength and fragility, ambition and hesitation, love and resentment. Consider that women often speak in ways that reflect their keen awareness of power dynamics, societal judgment, and a world that does not always bend easily to their will. This is not to suggest oppression is their sole lens, but rather that awareness of it enriches their humanity.
### **A Practical Exercise**
To write a real and true conversation, start not with gender but with context:
- **What do the women in your scene want from each other?** Friendship, truth, solace, confrontation?
- **What do they fear revealing?** Often, what is left unsaid is as telling as what is spoken.
- **What shared experiences shape their bond?** Intimacy often rests upon shared struggles or joys, whether spoken or understood.
Then, write it as you would for two people—layered, human, contradictory—and once the scene is drafted, return with an ear for its truth. Do they speak in ways that honor their individuality and their shared humanity? If so, you have succeeded.
### **A Bit of Your Feminine Aspect** Finally, your instinct to channel your own feminine is not misplaced but incomplete. Feminine, masculine—these are but prisms of the self. A woman contains both, as does a man. To write truthfully, embrace the paradoxes in your characters and yourself. Let your female characters reflect not only their gender but their humanity, and they will resonate across all bounds.
Now, tell me, do you have a particular scene in mind, or shall we spin something fresh from the imagination here and now?
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Idea: Pali thinks the Dis scene and all that Discordant music is actually changing Clarissa. Is that true? Can imbued instruments change someone's element makeup over time, or does the change in Clarissa have a more mundane but all too real reason: she is becoming the person she was meant to impersonate; fully embracing the mission, perhaps too much so in an attempt to bridge the perceived gap between her and Pali (but really her and her own expectations of herself, which are unrealistic).
Clarissa is not noticing Pali's distraction and wanting some emotional support from Clarissa, even for a few minutes. Perhaps Clarissa takes their relationship for granted and her insecurity about succeeding (and the thought that someone in Pali's shoes, i.e. has what Clarissa wants, is completely secure and in need of little) stops her from seeing Pali's preoccupation and needs.
This is a hugely important conversation. Also, show that Clarissa's unswerving loyalty to the city contrasts with Pali's faltering as she considers the new, and secret, reports coming in. Things are bad out there and no one is sure what is going on. She is worried about Clarissa, but cannot tell her exactly why, and Clarissa takes it as a sign of her protectiveness, which she resents. Pali wants Clarissa to stay the night, but Clarissa is worried about the cult following her and refuses (think an intellectual refusal to a request from the heart- Pali knew she wouldn't be able to stay, but it's Clarissa's response that hurts her). She needs it to look like she's cutting ties with her old life. Pali, angry and sad now, happily obliges by slapping the shit out of her and saying she's doing too good a job of it already. Clarissa gets a glimpse of what she has done, but leaves. A shot of Pali slumped at the table after this would be good as well.
This is also important because it is their last conversation.
Pali is Clarissa's lover and girlfriend. Get to "I love you." I need to make the elixir a symbol. Clarissa needs to see it at first as an indictment of her own shortcomings. Perhaps her and Clarissa met in training, both wanting the Sweep Teams. Pali made it and Clarissa didn't. There is a deep well here for Clarissa unconsciously latching onto Pali in hopes that some what got her into the Teams will rub off on her, but always has the inferiority/resentment present. The full elixir and the spear, proof of Pali's valor, is the physical manifestation of this. She comes full circle though, taking it in the end because she knows she can't escape without it- can't do this alone. She shows maturity there. Where in the story does she decide she can "do it on her own?" With Tanya? She gets Tanya killed that way? Anyway, the elixir. It shows up here at the beginning, prominently displayed. The reader learns what it is and represents later. Then it is shown again when Clarissa takes it, then uses it to overcome Rylan and Davoust to escape.
Clarissa's desire to join the Sweep Team and her respect for Rylan need to be here.